This is a question that is asked all around the world by millions of people almost every day (I’ve done the research lol). Why am I still single? I have so much going for me. I’m a great person…nice…loving. So why am I still single? If you’re asking this question to yourself and/or God just know that, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Before I met my wife I asked this question a couple of times, and so have many others. I don’t think there’s any one answer to why you haven’t found that special someone yet but I do believe there are a few factors that come in to play when asking yourself this question.
Singleness Is Not A Curse
One of the most common misconceptions in the world and especially the Christian community is that being single is a bad thing. We fantasize marriage to the point that people feel inadequate or feel like they will never have any happiness unless they are married. Well let me tell you…that’s just not true! Singleness is a great time to work on yourself and get your life in order. Paul in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 even talks about the benefits of being single. And as someone who was single for years up until recently being married, I know both sides of the fence and I can tell you there’s benefits to both. The biggest benefit to being single is that you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s needs or concerns except your own! I know that seems selfish but let me explain. When you’re married you now have more than yourself to be concerned with. Most of your efforts and attention are now given mostly to your spouse. So whether you have a career that you’re going for or you’re trying to do all that you can for the Kingdom of God, you can’t put all of your time into it because you have a spouse who also needs that time. Here’s what Paul said about this:
“…An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.” – 1 Cor 7:32b-33
YOUR LIST IS WAY TOO LONG!
Ahh yes, the “great list”. The list of qualifications that a person must meet before you can even consider them being a possible candidate for marriage (or even dating at that, lol). Don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with having standards. I believe we all should have some standards when it comes to dating. But I also believe we have to be reasonable. If you’re going to wait for someone to come along and fulfill everything on your list then you may be waiting for a very long time. Most times God has something for us and is trying to send it our way but we keep ignoring it or letting it pass us by because it doesn’t meet our qualifications. As my mentor and good friend once told me, “God’s list is better than your list”. God knows what you want, what you need, and what you desire even more so than you know yourself. So loosen that death grip on your list and allow things to flow a little bit more. You don’t have to lower your standards to be more open.
I JUST HAVEN’T MET YOU YET (IT’S NOT TIME)
So let’s say you do have everything together. Your career is going great, your personal life is in order, your finances are good, you’re a great catch, etc. But for some reason you’re still single. Well you just might not have met them yet and/or it’s not time. You will meet that right person that gives you that warm fuzzy feeling on the inside and makes you feel like the world is all gumdrops and rainbows, but it will all happen in due time. You may not have went to that coffee shop at that certain time that allows you to bump into your future spouse yet. Or maybe that person at work that you thought was nice, but doesn’t meet your qualifications (see paragraph 3 lol) does something that totally changes your tune about them and makes you give them a shot. Everything has its timing and yours just may not have come yet. So don’t give up, don’t get depressed. Go out and continue to enjoy life and don’t think about it. Because it usually happens when you’re least thinking about, for some reason.
GOD IS STILL WORKING SOME THINGS OUT
Sometimes you feel like you’ve got it all together and that any person should feel lucky just to be with a person as awesome and wonderful as you are. But in reality there are some things about us that God is working on that we don’t realize is there. He’s trying to get some things in order and fix some stuff in our life so that we’re ready and able to receive our future spouse. We may have an attitude, or some secret personal issues that need to be taken care of before we get into that next relationship that could lead to marriage. Just know that what God is doing is apart of his plan and will benefit you and your future marriage in the long run. He may be doing the same thing for the person you’re supposed to get married to. So just be patient and give it all to God. He’s working it out for your good and making you a better person for you future spouse.
These are only a few factors of why you could possibly still be single. I hope some of these help you and kind of open up your eyes to somethings you might have overlooked during this season of singleness. The key is just being patient and enjoying where you are in life right now! Let me know what you think of this post by commenting below and if you found it helpful or just entertaining in anyway please subscribe and share this blog on your Facebook and Twitter. Thank you! Be blessed!