How To Find “The One”

I used to believe finding “the one” had to do with where you were looking. I used to think to myself if I want to find a wife I have to search in the right places. I’m a Christian so of course I wanted a godly wife. And where’s the first place any “good Christian man” would look? Yep you got it!! The CHURCH!!! There was only one problem. I wasn’t finding the one in the church. I wasn’t even finding a possible one. Here was my issue…

First off, I was close minded about where I would meet my future “good thing”. I needed to expand my searching grounds mentally. Now let me explain what I mean by that. My thought process was that I would only find ‘The One’ in my church. I would be there, on stage, worshipping and singing my heart out. She’d float through the door and be smitten by my heart for God. I’d open my eyes because I felt a “shift in the atmosphere”. Our eyes would meet, my spirit would connect with her spirit, and that would be the start of a relationship that would last through the ages! It never happened (lol). Nobody ever came floating through the door and although my eyes may have connected with <clears throat> a few ladies from time to time, our spirits never met and nothing ever came of it. It’s not that the church is a “bad” place to meet a potential significant other. Plenty of Christian men have met their future wives in church. I just wasn’t one of them. I had come to a conclusion that this was definitely the place my wife would be and hadn’t even considered any other possibilities. I never considered that God may have had a different venue in mind for me to have my “spiritual connection” with my future wife.

We’ve all thought about how we would meet our future spouse. (Some more than others). We’ve imagined where we would be or how they would look. In the Christian church most people are told to, “make a list and let your criteria and qualifications of what you want/need in a spouse be known to God”. At least this is what I was told. Make a list. How do you want them to look? How tall do you want them to be? Can they sing? Can they hold an intellectual conversation discussing the mysteries of the vast universe? They need to be balling!!! Are they saved? Now don’t get my wrong. Im not against “The List”. As a matter of fact I had a list of my own with similar demands of the spouse I haven’t met yet. And I was holding on dearly to those qualifications. If I went on a date or just out as “friends”, I’d cross their names out as potential soulmates if they didn’t meet every criteria on my list. Because I didn’t feel that any of them were unreasonable. I mean there was nothing wrong with wanting a beautiful super model saved singer wife who cook and clean! Ok it wasn’t that extreme, but some of them were a tad bit outrageous. My mindset didn’t change until one of my mentor’s gave me the secret to finding the one. One little statement that would change my entire outlook on the entire situation. He told me “God’s list is better than your list”

BOOM!!! Mind blown!!!! Look I understand that doesn’t sound like much, but to me it was everything. It opened up my entire view on “Finding the one”. Think about it. Who knows you better than God? Who knows your wants, your needs, your desires? Who knows your mind? Who can search your thoughts? Who knows your dreams and your goals? Your pet peeves and tolerance level? Who knows your heart? Everything became so clear. That was the moment my list of 30 qualifications went down to two. Do they believe in God? And are they saved? Anything else I could deal with because I was putting my trust in God to find my spouse and not myself. God knows what I’m attracted to. He knows my type. He knows what I need. There was no reason for me to come up with a list to judge my future spouse by because nothing I could come up with would EVER be better than what God had for me. That’s the secret. I know it may  sound clichè or it may even be something you’ve heard already. But if you’re seeking God in all you do, seeking first his kingdom…than all these things (which includes your desire for a wife/husband) will be added unto you. Im so glad I threw away my list and what I thought I knew I wanted and gave it all to God. I could have never imagined, dreamt, or drew up a ten page conclusion that could have even come close to the wife he blessed me with. And once I gave it to God my set mind of where I would meet her changed. It didn’t matter anymore where it would be, it was only when it would be. I happened to meet my future wife at my job (of all places) and guess what…our eyes met. And guess what spirit met her spirit and it was the start of a relationship that would last through the ages…

If you want to find the one, seek God. He knows your desires, your passion, your every dream. He knows your very makeup because he knit every fiber of you into existence (Psalm 139:13). Give it to God and trust in His list because I promise…”His list is better than your list”.

Please comment and let us know what you thought about finding the one. I would also like to know, if you’re married, how you and your spouse met and where. Please remember to share on social media and enter your email into the subscription box so you can be the first to know of any new blogs and content on WMWO. Thank you and be blessed!




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